Dear Bella: I was recently in a relationship with a guy who lives in a different state. We usually see each other on some weekends and on holidays. Last Christmas I decided to visit him, where he is living. Everything was normal until a few days when I felt that he was acting different to me and I discovered that he has another woman.
I confronted him about it and he denied it. At the ending of my vacation with him, we did not speak to one another and I have not spoken to him since then. Some weeks ago, I found out that I am pregnant. My question to you is should I tell him or not?
Thanks,
Very confused.
Dear Very Confused,
If the child is your lover’s own, by all means you should tell him. If he is serious about you and you approach him in the right way this could be the meaning of a new beginning for your relationship. I would also want to think he is the one who impregnated you since you have not said otherwise. If you no longer want to have anything to do with him because of your discoveries of the alleged other woman then still tell him. Many men have cheating ways, but it just takes some rude awakening at times to make them come to their senses. Nonetheless, a man will always say despite his cheating ways he will never leave his “main woman,” once she is the ideal. While that is not an excuse, you may have to overcome this relationship problem and start planning for your newborn.
If however he is a dead beat, you may have to seriously decide if you want to get back with him, and arrange a child support fee with him.
Nevertheless, children bring happiness into a relationship, and you may even see a transition in your partner once he is genuine. No child should miss the opportunity by not being raised by both parents – that is a real joy. Meanwhile, try not to stress yourself or let anyone aggravate you. It is time to prepare for motherhood.
Bella.
Do you have a problem? Write to Dear Bella at anguillaexpress.com. Dear Bella is published every Monday and Friday. All letters are subject to editing and the editor has the right to not publish an article if it does not meet the company’s editorial standards. Also, the advice given is not necessarily expert advice, and is basically an opinion, therefore we accept no liability that result from giving any opinion, and by reading this column you agree to indemnify us from any such liability. We encourage you to seek the advice of a professional counselor.
Copyright 2010 Anguilla Express, Andrews Publishing Co. Ltd. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or distributed.
well, my dear very confused, we need to be a little more adults and responsible. Being pregnant from a cheating man is one thing and not so bad compare to a sickness like AIDS. AIDS is death. And it take a bout 2 to 3 months after the last risk taken to be sure of your good health .
Thia should be your first worries, second, you should contact him and challenge his intentions, feelings, desire for you and an upcoming child, if its negative, well you are actually pregnant from a cheater, a man who will never be there for his child, you also did not want to be pregnant and it is an accident. So, as a women fought for their rights to be abble to stop a pregnancy at a decent time, please look at this option. A child is fantastic to have in the right conditions not in the worst conditions. everyone deserve a good life.
Unfortunately, our communities do not approve the fact of abortions and thousand of yound woamen get trapped in this cycle. Even the one who get pregnant by rape, abuse get this bad impression from the community.
Be wise and think very strongly on this option.
we are in 2010, and you havea life to live.
Young lady he withdrew to give you a hint, and as wise as you are you picked up that he has another woman,. So,, in order to protect yourself emotionally and physically, tell this man that he has impregnated you. If you choose to continue a relationship with him that is up to you, but his cheating ways should be a warning that you are open to sexually transmitted diseases. And lastly, I have come to the conclusion that most men do not have the same outlook on mating, relationships, loving and caring, mating and fatherhood responsibilities, as women do with the same including motherhood. I may sound sexist, however, when you as a woman see a baby cooing in your arms, he sees child support payments (to run away from) especially if he has other children. I am sure that you will find a way to cross this bridge and find a ray a light at the end of the tunnel. I wish you well.